We have these very fancy lifts at work… you punch a number in… it tells you which lift to get into and voila it takes you to your floor – well that’s the way it’s supposed to work.
This morning – punch in my floor number, go to designated lift, get in…. doors close, lift starts going up….slight shuddering and then nothing.
Me – *push intercom button* Hello
Intercom – Hello?
Me – The lift is stuck
Intercom – What?
Me – The lift is stuck
Intercom – Push the number for your floor
Me – There are no buttons
Intercom – No buttons?
Me – No buttons
Intercom – No buttons on the right hand side
Me – *slightly exasperated tone* No buttons on the right hand side
Intercom – What floor are you on
Me – Screen says M floor
Intercom – I will call the people to come fix it – they should be here in ten to fifteen minutes
Me – Ok
{some time passes}
Intercom – Hello
Me – Hello
Intercom – You still there?
Me – Yes, can’t exactly go anywhere
Intercom – The people are coming to get you out
Me – Thanks
{some time passes}
Intercom – [different voice] Hello, you still there?
Me – Yes
Intercom – the people are here – you will be out soon
{some times passes}
Intercom – [different voice again] Hello, you still there?
Me – Yup
Intercom – You’re not on the M floor
Me – Oh
Intercom – the people will find you
Me – Oh good
{some times passes}
*lift light goes out for a second and then the lift voice says “please stay clear of the closing doors”*
Me – I’d love to stay clear of opening doors… [sarcasm is lost on lifts]
{some time passes}
Intercom – Hello, you ok
Me – Yup
Intercom – people will get you out soon
{some times passes}
Lift starts making the appropriate noises and I end up back on the ground floor.
I’m starting to ask…. Why Me?