I’m not an unkind person, but…

So I put the following sentence into Google and hit the “I’m feeling lucky” button.

‘how to discourage porcupines from ransacking your garbage’

This came up:

Five years ago there were serious animal problems at the community garden — black bear, deer, beaver — but “the worst pest of all was the porcupine,” Ms. Williams says. “The kindhearted would trap them and drive them 10 or 15 miles away, until one of the forest people said they just came back.”

It reached a point, Ms. Williams says, when gardeners were so frustrated that at least 30 of the 150 plots were empty.

“So finally, four years ago, we put an electric fence all around this big field, but the porcupines then decide to burrow under the fence,” she says. “They’re ingenious. So we had to put rocks down and pour cement.”

Even then, a porcupine managed to get in. And when she saw it, “strolling along, munching away,” she could stand no more.

“He was after my carrot crop,” she explains. “I said, I just cannot handle this anymore. He sees me and tries to wander off, but they can’t run very fast. I got him with the sledgehammer. He tried to dodge me, but I got him on the head.”

And no, she hasn’t lost any sleep over it.

“It was sad, but I am tired of being the fancy kitchen for critters,” she says.

I’m seriously tempted……only problem is, I don’t have a sledgehammer.

That bloody porcupine climbed on to the patio chair, dragged the black bag off the table and then proceeded to munch away in the next door neighbour’s back garden. Tell me I’m not justified in thinking murderous thoughts.